tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26769037763001899612024-02-07T15:28:17.024-05:00Fathers and Families The new science of fatherhood<br>
And other news about fathers and families...Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-64357174676739271782010-04-28T14:33:00.002-04:002010-04-28T14:33:49.789-04:00Apologies for lack of recent posts......I'm on deadline to finish my book, <i>Why Fathers Matter</i>, and so I have limited time to break out items for the blog.<br />
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Please stay tuned...<br />
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PaulPaul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-7551913153259362002010-01-07T13:08:00.000-05:002010-01-07T13:08:16.425-05:00Delays in family court: What price do our children pay?For my speculation on the possible consequences of extensive delays in family courts across the country--delays in cases involving child abuse and neglect, among other things--see <a href="http://trueslant.com/paulraeburn/2010/01/07/crisis-in-the-family-court/">my first post on True/Slant</a>. And please leave a comment here or there.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-16614762183008862852010-01-04T16:04:00.002-05:002010-01-04T16:10:41.244-05:00What makes a fit parent?Public Radio International's The Takeaway had <a href="http://www.thetakeaway.org/stories/2010/jan/04/determining-parental-fitness-disabled-parents/">a piece </a> this morning about a quadriplegic mother who risks losing her child to the child's father (her ex-boyfriend) who is arguing that she is incapable of caring for the child because of her disability.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_4NVBwxEL9dd9eiLOy8vQ-6qUmbiCWQgjK_Fhb2xvIIYJhW7vXj1thsn_SwAzwPv9YKXxkTangziNTUl9UtWB_TG8jYMjdjiwPyhUqAjtYJtr174CRUWDTtonzeuiVUvZXyCltQB09yOg/s1600-h/takeaway_header.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_4NVBwxEL9dd9eiLOy8vQ-6qUmbiCWQgjK_Fhb2xvIIYJhW7vXj1thsn_SwAzwPv9YKXxkTangziNTUl9UtWB_TG8jYMjdjiwPyhUqAjtYJtr174CRUWDTtonzeuiVUvZXyCltQB09yOg/s320/takeaway_header.gif" /></a><br />
</div>There's an interesting bit near the end of the piece when the conversation takes a turn toward what makes a fit parent. And Lisa Belkin, <a href="http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/">the Motherlode blogger</a> who talks about families every Monday on The Takeaway, observes that some working mothers are losing custody of their children because the father spends more time with the children.<br />
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As I noted in a different case in <a href="http://fathersandfamilies.blogspot.com/2009/12/working-women-encounter-new-rules-for.html">my previous post</a>, this seems unfair on the surface. Just because mothers work to support their children--a good thing, we might argue--they stand to lose custody in a break-up?<br />
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If it's unfair, it's been unfair to millions of fathers for decades--fathers who lost custody on precisely those grounds.<br />
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If we're going to change the rules to be fair to working parents, let's make sure we make them equally fair to mothers<i> and</i> fathers.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-20235280675480273362009-12-08T16:20:00.002-05:002009-12-08T16:26:01.045-05:00Working women encounter new rules for custody after divorce--and that might be a good thing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0nDSbotIACIvRhf1rJttt8cAEscxlBdBLdyfZpeawYVVJa5LdWXgnb1PHBmrRbRO2Cu8J-bWBq3kAiRo5m44XAtG80N3E96yNvRf0Mzqg4jHY_a6ZvJZKk4kkkRCAnWhJ-bquIfFuVQhZ/s1600-h/abrahms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0nDSbotIACIvRhf1rJttt8cAEscxlBdBLdyfZpeawYVVJa5LdWXgnb1PHBmrRbRO2Cu8J-bWBq3kAiRo5m44XAtG80N3E96yNvRf0Mzqg4jHY_a6ZvJZKk4kkkRCAnWhJ-bquIfFuVQhZ/s320/abrahms.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><br />
Julie Michaud was a working mother in Boston; her husband, Mark, was a stay-at-home dad. When the two divorced, Julie sought and expected joint custody of their two children, 5 and 7. She was shocked when Mark, who asked for primary custody, got it.<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>According to <a href="http://www.workingmother.com/web?service=direct/1/ViewArticle/insertArticleHeadline.dlinkPage&sp=0&sp=120">an article by Sally Abrahms </a>on workingmother.com, some 2.2 million mothers in this country do not have primary physical custody of their children. "Not long ago," the article says, "men usually paid the child support and doled out the alimony. Moms (working or not) almost always got the kids in messy divorce wars. Years of changing diapers, wiping noses and kissing boo-boos gave them the edge. But now the tide is turning."<br />
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</div><div>Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Abrahms doesn't take a position, except to note, near the end of her piece, that it's best for children to have good relationships with both of their parents.<br />
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</div><div>I'd suggest that it's still true that mothers almost always get the kids, and that the courts should not take such a reflexive approach. If the growth in the number of working mothers means more fathers get the kids--if judges are forced to <i>judge</i>, rather than dole out the kids by rote--that could be a good thing.<br />
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Let's ask our judges to make the decision that's best for the children, not just give mothers the kids.<br />
</div>Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-75422136375027785012009-10-18T17:39:00.000-04:002009-10-18T17:39:46.917-04:00Raising boys without men?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQye74cAIKArjBto44pEsxZlYto-davyghzO0mQImVl0Ym6odCfM5uLPJXdpkUN-sUKk3dlElGP8_FEOouneFKKg7iu3xroTaThSXUatdNdwzgOgdy_istYHrtNdpr-2hxeiWpZueCR6P/s1600-h/drexler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQye74cAIKArjBto44pEsxZlYto-davyghzO0mQImVl0Ym6odCfM5uLPJXdpkUN-sUKk3dlElGP8_FEOouneFKKg7iu3xroTaThSXUatdNdwzgOgdy_istYHrtNdpr-2hxeiWpZueCR6P/s400/drexler.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Here's an intriguing book title. It just caught my eye, but the title suggests its at odds with what I've been arguing here, that fathers are important for children, both boys and girls.<br />
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Just noting it here. If you're familiar with this book or its author, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler">Peggy Drexler</a>, let me know. And more on this soon.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-18580899208929601042009-10-12T11:20:00.002-04:002009-10-14T09:00:20.766-04:00Exercising judgment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjavNGFA9a9X76M5bXS8k9v17oAYh1yeCgpoHD8zAoxo-g1ZFS_r2NbitEL2xWXEXXypFZ0_IEtRlUiOKRBTK1v8UuDVHA1U2M2xoskDaxWnD4C7OZpnYTiorh3P6rkDT-6QQloAGKOYjE1/s1600-h/zachary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjavNGFA9a9X76M5bXS8k9v17oAYh1yeCgpoHD8zAoxo-g1ZFS_r2NbitEL2xWXEXXypFZ0_IEtRlUiOKRBTK1v8UuDVHA1U2M2xoskDaxWnD4C7OZpnYTiorh3P6rkDT-6QQloAGKOYjE1/s200/zachary.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Remember that amusing piece of camping gear that includes a folding fork, spoon, and knife? Zachary Christie, a public-school student in Delaware, and a new Cub Scout, was so excited to get one when he joined the scouts that he took it to school to use it for lunch.<br />
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According to <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/12/education/12discipline.html?hp">a story</a> in <i>The New York Times</i>, Zachary now faces 45 days in the school district's reform school.That's him in the picture. Take a look. Reform school?<br />
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The Times writes that "based on the<a href="http://www.christina.k12.de.us/CodeOfConduct/0910/pdf/EN.pdf" title="District code of conduct"> code of conduct</a> for the Christina School District, where Zachary is a first grader, school officials had no choice. They had to suspend him because, 'regardless of possessor’s intent,' knives are banned."<br />
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The issue here is proper exercise of judgment. Yes, the code of conduct allows no exceptions. But a teacher could have quietly explained to the boy that the utensil was not permitted and quickly pocketed it.<br />
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If you find this outrageous, suspend your outrage for a moment. Because the story also reports that last year, a third-grader was expelled--expelled!--because her grandmother sent her to school with a birthday cake and a knife to cut it with.<br />
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The teacher called the principal and the girl was expelled. The kicker? Before calling the principal, the teacher used the knife to cut the cake.<br />
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Happy birthday!<br />
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Again, a little exercise of judgment might have been in order. Cut the cake, have the party, and send the knife home at the end of the day. Consider the knife in the possession of the teacher, not the student.<br />
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What lesson are those teachers teaching? Maybe it's this: Don't trust authority, don't trust your teachers, because what they are doing is absurd, even in the eyes of a third-grader.<br />
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<i>Update, Wednesday morning, Oct. 14: </i><i> </i>The Associated Press <a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ifFNKMATqPOAycMR4nLAguViv7tAD9BAS40G0">reports </a>that the Christina School Board in Delaware voted unanimously yesterday to reduce the punishment for kindergartners or first-graders who take "weapons" to school to suspensions of three to five days. Even that milder punishment seems silly int his case, but I suppose we count this as progress.<br />
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The good news for Zachary? He can return to school.<i><br />
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<i></i>Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-77487931472255165682009-10-11T10:50:00.002-04:002009-10-11T10:51:25.182-04:00The children's suicides<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaxCARw2Mz8bnLAwUaRAkNwugkLEA24t2XV86zs9fMyUawSLc0VsvxffanyXwY3ykLOC1d6Pj88_AvQU09gftsQJgc3tTjqIK84ullZBt3j2JOBNRvN57vBPsuAz_4ywmGzMYIlSHS51FF/s1600-h/Alison+Uttley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br />
</a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaxCARw2Mz8bnLAwUaRAkNwugkLEA24t2XV86zs9fMyUawSLc0VsvxffanyXwY3ykLOC1d6Pj88_AvQU09gftsQJgc3tTjqIK84ullZBt3j2JOBNRvN57vBPsuAz_4ywmGzMYIlSHS51FF/s1600-h/Alison+Uttley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaxCARw2Mz8bnLAwUaRAkNwugkLEA24t2XV86zs9fMyUawSLc0VsvxffanyXwY3ykLOC1d6Pj88_AvQU09gftsQJgc3tTjqIK84ullZBt3j2JOBNRvN57vBPsuAz_4ywmGzMYIlSHS51FF/s200/Alison+Uttley.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Fascinating <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/10/world/europe/10byatt.html">interview</a> in Saturday's <i>New York Times </i>with the writer A.S. Byatt on her new novel, <i>The Children's Book</i>. The central character is a writer of children's books, and Byatt says the idea of the novel came to her because she had been thinking about how child-rearing changed in the late-Victorian era.<br />
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“People began talking to their children as people,” Byatt tells interviewer Charles McGrath. “They even took tea with them. That’s a change — you wouldn’t find it in Dickens or Jane Austen. And this also coincides with Freud’s deciding that everything comes from childhood and discovering all sorts of little dark things there, even if they weren’t true.”<br />
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I don't know much about that, but her comment made me instantly interested. Then I read on a few more grafs, and found this: Byatt says she was struck by “all the children of the children’s writers who killed themselves."<br />
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Alison Uttley is one writer she mentions, who wrote stories about rabbits and hedgehogs. Her son grew up and married a woman Uttley didn't like. The son drove his car off of a cliff.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-66576305840875102112009-08-14T22:43:00.002-04:002009-08-14T22:46:16.810-04:00From my About Fathers blog at Psychology Today...A childless man was released from jail, where he had been sent for non-payment of child support.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/about-fathers/200908/childless-man-released-jail-after-being-sentenced-non-payment-child-suppor">Read the story</a>.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-72022677932188307412009-08-05T11:01:00.004-04:002009-08-05T11:14:14.616-04:00Despite what surveys say, we do enjoy our kids<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1fsp1fizoXCwtmOag-yGVBaup9vZDSwIyOTbzp_I8rzMIeGv0JiJW_0iw4bzn4G29j63xMCetY8Oeue2xdb-LVHT26HlWqNCLcp5rrU6tBGTlFjPjTkdtAixG94_AelpsHasLKZuDkWY_/s1600-h/kid.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1fsp1fizoXCwtmOag-yGVBaup9vZDSwIyOTbzp_I8rzMIeGv0JiJW_0iw4bzn4G29j63xMCetY8Oeue2xdb-LVHT26HlWqNCLcp5rrU6tBGTlFjPjTkdtAixG94_AelpsHasLKZuDkWY_/s200/kid.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366498281644993426" /></a><br />"I enjoy spending time with my kids."<br /><br />I'll wager that most of us would agree with that statement. But psychologists have long told us otherwise. When people are asked what they enjoy, they put outdoor activities and watching television far above spending time with their kids. (Sex also comes in around mid-list; we'll save speculation on that for another day. In the meantime, if I ever say I enjoy TV more than sex, shoot me.)<br /><br />Now a couple of British academics --Matthew White and Paul Dolan -- <a href="http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2009/07/maybe-having-kids-is-good-idea-after.html">are telling us </a>what we suspected all along: There was something wrong with those surveys.<br /><br />In <a href="http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122463748/abstract?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0">a study published in Psychological Science</a>, they queried people about what they found pleasurable, and got the standard answers, as above. But they also inquired about something else: What do you find meaningful or worthwhile? Work topped the list, and spending time with children wasn't far behind.<br /><br />I find spending time with my kids rewarding, meaningful, and almost always fun. <br /><br />I'm not counting time spent with a crying child between, say, midnight and 5 am.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-25212643792487209092009-08-04T14:09:00.003-04:002009-08-04T14:32:26.636-04:00A fathers' right to know?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE-ers2_2ucjPuXbWnthgzLUEXqgDt-9aG0ci4ExaQdbbGfufGAcMfNd_FOaB4PBxs9wjEOwXdA0y9uHYo6RK_-Euqw6I8cdYFPdOqe-8i0hKjowDqzYcnckHqecWVW7As8OaIISmODVad/s1600-h/jude-law-s-burk-4-320.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE-ers2_2ucjPuXbWnthgzLUEXqgDt-9aG0ci4ExaQdbbGfufGAcMfNd_FOaB4PBxs9wjEOwXdA0y9uHYo6RK_-Euqw6I8cdYFPdOqe-8i0hKjowDqzYcnckHqecWVW7As8OaIISmODVad/s200/jude-law-s-burk-4-320.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366178270949762690" /></a><br />Last week, the actor Jude Law released a statement saying he was going to be a father. People magazine and others <a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20295432,00.html">have reported</a> that the mother is a 24-year-old aspiring actress named Samantha Burke.<br /><br />Law's statement suggested he was surprised by the news. And if the relationship was last year, that means the baby must be due soon, either in August or September.<br /><br />So while we don't know for sure, it appears that Law found out he was having a child only during the last few months of the mother's pregnancy. Surprise.<br /><br />Should Law have known earlier? Burke didn't have to tell him at all; she might have chosen to keep the matter to herself, and Law would never know he has another child in the world. <br /><br />Should Burke have been obligated to tell Law? Would we want such a requirement to be written into law? <br /><br />Should a father have a right to know when he's going to have a child?Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-63316743937848181022009-08-04T10:56:00.009-04:002009-08-04T11:09:31.031-04:00Domestic violence--a twistIt's a familiar story. A mother and father fight, shouting at first, then grabbing one another, and it ends with one of them bruised and bloodied. Police arrive. They cuff the perpetrator. A social worker takes the children into custody.<br /><br />But in a twist, the police put the cuffs on the parent who's bleeding. <br /><br />Why would the police arrest a woman who's been abused, rather than her abuser? <br /><br />Because in this case it was the father who had been abused, not the mother. And despite his explanation that he was the victim, the police cuffed him anyway.<br /><br />Here's the story about David Woods, by Glenn Sacks and Ned Holstein:<br /><a href="http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/article.aspx?cp-documentid=20968901&page=0">No one believed me.</a><br /><br />Please let me know what you think.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-36508708828129373172009-06-22T14:04:00.004-04:002009-06-22T14:13:11.816-04:00Fathers Day dart to the L.A. Times<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuTDXj_Aiyo9cXB5MtvcAo96CUN8XdxHRHzpaIBpqVOXozTbhT6yx0JlEsa8_ZWb1J38wkEbq1ZcOshHXLViaN-oa23KxoVa8THjW0l4ryXQFwaT69kAhf5rb3UD7YBB087Cr6aZWfN_7f/s1600-h/LA+Times.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 121px; height: 84px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuTDXj_Aiyo9cXB5MtvcAo96CUN8XdxHRHzpaIBpqVOXozTbhT6yx0JlEsa8_ZWb1J38wkEbq1ZcOshHXLViaN-oa23KxoVa8THjW0l4ryXQFwaT69kAhf5rb3UD7YBB087Cr6aZWfN_7f/s200/LA+Times.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350216467665390690" /></a><br />File this under: Newspapers wondering why they are losing readers.<br /><br />The Los Angeles Times' political blog reprints <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/the_press_office/Presidential-Proclamation-Fathers-Day/">President Obama's inspirational, and rather bland, Fathers Day proclamation</a>. The proclamation doesn't make news, but why not post it, as the Times did, and pause a moment on Fathers Day for a little inspiration?<br /><br />But the Times isn't content to leave things there. At the end of the proclamation, it tacks on extra language (in the same type face as the proclamation) that presumably didn't come from the White House.<br /><br />"Your father would want you to click here to receive Twitter alerts" of the Times's political blog, it says. <br /><br />The White House Fathers Day proclamation was nothing more to the Times' editors than an opportunity to promote its Tweets?<br /><br />Sheesh. Another case of old media being tone deaf.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-29309568535134940132009-06-10T17:38:00.004-04:002009-06-10T17:50:16.929-04:00FDA panel backs antipsychotic drugs for kids<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJH15_Patc3vwUlJqBLHrmmWz86x7jcH3F6mDHBGyAixjOhE-rmmLx9owmT57KI6yO-qT7kokqqlVf2cNNjqGI_LtzleYYL9t64lwCdU6MvICAaZ6QOKmw2huUvVaGPLVMx2XXT-DnnHrf/s1600-h/antipsychotics.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 85px; height: 128px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJH15_Patc3vwUlJqBLHrmmWz86x7jcH3F6mDHBGyAixjOhE-rmmLx9owmT57KI6yO-qT7kokqqlVf2cNNjqGI_LtzleYYL9t64lwCdU6MvICAaZ6QOKmw2huUvVaGPLVMx2XXT-DnnHrf/s200/antipsychotics.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345819372610313874" /></a><br />An FDA advisory panel has concluded that three antipsychotic drugs already widely used in children--Zyprexa, Seroquel, and Geodon--are safe and effective in treating children with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, according to news reports.<br /><br />The FDA is late to the game here--combined sales of the three drugs reached $10 billion last year, <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/rbssHealthcareNews/idUSN1046473820090610">according to Reuters</a>.<br /><br />The drugs are approved only for adults, not for children. But doctors can legally prescribe them for children.<br /><br />The advisory panel, made up of experts outside the FDA, cautioned that the long-term effects of the drugs on children is unknown. No long-term studies have been done.<br /><br />That's of particular concern in children, who might have to take the drugs for a lifetime.<br /><br />The FDA can now consider whether to approve the drugs for children, which would allow the drugs' makers to begin actively marketing them for children--something the companies cannot do now.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-3613604404536412202009-06-08T15:05:00.004-04:002009-06-08T15:09:23.505-04:00Parental leave: U.S. vs. world<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw9jWAcgQIlyRyttLDQ4KJjmb7hoVfY5uDABf7igltkPMYVhpNkYIQgE8DtdsW4gxCoOtg-LtCn1-0arnE2JoR4j9l5COSNP1DjOXPZ42IhC4XT_-M5dbhJ8_41EFMBTKVN1vbApmwrHht/s1600-h/paidleave-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw9jWAcgQIlyRyttLDQ4KJjmb7hoVfY5uDABf7igltkPMYVhpNkYIQgE8DtdsW4gxCoOtg-LtCn1-0arnE2JoR4j9l5COSNP1DjOXPZ42IhC4XT_-M5dbhJ8_41EFMBTKVN1vbApmwrHht/s400/paidleave-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345035381568075154" /></a><br />This chart is based on Sakiko Tanaka’s 2005 article “Parental leave and child health across OECD countries” ([p F7-F28] Economic Journal Volume 115 Issue 501), by way of <a href="http://yglesias.thinkprogress.org/archives/2009/06/paid-parental-leave.php">Matthew Yglesias</a>.<br /><br />Don't worry about the details, if they are difficult to read. Here's what you should take away: All of the countries on this map offer at least 14 weeks of parental leave, with one exception: the United States of America, the world's richest nation.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-65343300927766771882009-06-08T13:24:00.012-04:002009-06-08T13:51:13.734-04:00Things lost when families dissolve<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAWDpQD-y0BOD8H1wdqYw8gmja0woFUU_Ua_rdHREeCSyWKRU3p-gjN0gJ4pe7FsW7tmlvGbwCd0KwxryHG8_iyCenzj3ekm-7J9KQf1K-jZfPzP1eKmU3loGYug7COVnspJxwpqbRKg11/s1600-h/ED-AJ613_prager_D_20090604143518.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 262px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAWDpQD-y0BOD8H1wdqYw8gmja0woFUU_Ua_rdHREeCSyWKRU3p-gjN0gJ4pe7FsW7tmlvGbwCd0KwxryHG8_iyCenzj3ekm-7J9KQf1K-jZfPzP1eKmU3loGYug7COVnspJxwpqbRKg11/s400/ED-AJ613_prager_D_20090604143518.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345013613359098050" /></a><br />A divorce can offer opportunity, but it almost always involves loss. Loss of the kids. Loss of the house. Loss of friends, loss of a familiar routine, maybe loss of a job.<br /><br />Sometimes the things that are lost are oddly sentimental, or of emotional value only to the person who loses them. On rarer occasions, unique and truly valuable items can sadly disappear.<br /><br />That's what happened to Rudy Mancuso, who took one of baseball's most famous photographs (above) and never received proper credit. It was taken on Oct. 3, 1951, during the final playoff game between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the New York Giants, the game that included the home run known forever after as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shot_Heard_%27Round_the_World_(baseball)">"the shot heard round the world."</a><br /><br />As my friend Josh Prager <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124424737510590641.html?mod=googlenews_wsj">beautifully recounts </a>in the Wall Street Journal, Mancuso was unable to sell the photo the next day, and he quickly fell into obscurity. A year later he and his wife separated. The priceless negative disappeared. And as the years drifted by, even his family came to doubt whether he had taken the picture. It became a "family legend," Prager reports.<br /><br />In January, Mancuso's wife's sister died. While her nieces were sorting through her possessions, they found an envelope marked "baseball." Inside was the negative. They gave it to Mancuso, who was 89 years old and had not seen it for 57 years. <br /><br />Mancuso transferred ownership to his sons, hoping it would provide for them.<br /><br />It was timely; Mancuso died on May 10th. <br /><br />When Mancuso lost his wife, he also lost the tangible record of the crowning accomplishment of his professional life. Happily for him and his family, he recovered it before he died.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-78909733588692935792009-04-28T16:52:00.005-04:002009-04-28T17:04:39.051-04:00Should stepmothers get Mothers' Day cards?The Council on Contemporary Families thinks so. It's impossible to know how many stepmothers there are in America, because the census bureau doesn't count them. But there must be quite a few, because 46 percent of marriages include at least one partner who's been married before.<br /><br />The legal system has, however, failed to take note of this group.<br /><br />Stepmothers, the Council on Contemporary Families says, "often feel ignored, both by society at large and by their stepchildren."<br /><br />More from the council's release today:<br /><br />In many states, stepmothers have custody responsibilities for their stepchildren but no legal rights regarding them. Even if they drive kids to games, play Monopoly endlessly, and help with brushing teeth every night, they are considered "legal strangers." If there is an injury at one of those games, a stepmother cannot sign<br />her stepchild into the emergency room without written permission from her partner or the other legal parent. Oregon is one of only a few states that protects the rights of a stepparent who has formed a relationship with a minor child...<br /><br />I agree with the council that we ought to send 'em a card. No harm done, and it's a good thing to recognize what they do for their stepchildren--even if society at large doesn't recognize it.<br /><br />I look forward to a release from the council in June, extending the same consideration to stepfathers.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-14038540911944241832009-04-24T08:56:00.005-04:002009-04-24T09:09:21.122-04:00The U.S. is stealing immigrants' childrenEncarnacion Bail Romero, a native of Guatemala, has lost all parental rights to her two-year-old boy, Carlos. Legally, he is no longer her son.<br /><br />Why did this happen? Because she abandoned him, according to a ruling by a judge in Jasper County, Missouri. <br /><br />That might seem to be a reasonable outcome, until we consider the reason why she "abandoned" him: She was jailed by immigration authorities two years ago and is still there, awaiting deportation.<br /><br />The deportation might be justified. But can there by any possible justification for then saying that she abandoned her child? Or for the penalty she paid--to lose all parental rights, with the likelihood that after she is deported she will never be able to visit him, and probably never see him again? An <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/23/us/23children.html">article</a> in the New York Times says cases like this are popping up across the country.<br /><br />When Romero is shipped home to Guatemala, she can tell her family, friends, and neighbors that because she slipped into the United States illegally, the Americans felt they were justified in stealing her child.<br /><br />And she would be correct.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-48787663453473794732009-04-24T06:10:00.002-04:002009-04-24T06:14:38.868-04:00Are Humans Monogamous?An interesting question came up today while I was doing research on my fathers book.<br /><br />Are humans monogamous? <br /><br />I would have said yes without giving it much thought. Apparently researchers disagree on this question. Think about people you know who have had children with more than one partner. Are they monogamous? Serially monogamous? Or polygamous?<br /><br />The answer has implications for how we think about fathers, and how families have been shaped by evolution--and by their environments.<br /><br />Thanks for your thoughts.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-23147748921910664412009-04-16T21:32:00.003-04:002009-04-16T21:45:27.088-04:00Sunshine Cleaning<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzYi45rtIjUUjh4JshcTac3r-qYmOQrSJMxeRorPDY2KFIkQG6CsA9zDaxQWtaFziBNQEjM149ZavNR9IJZV0grgHh078tmhZWDMKqfhWh9ZvvPTP7aVCFzvJ25AWZfL8t-IdZWLKbZLUy/s1600-h/Sunshine+Cleaning.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzYi45rtIjUUjh4JshcTac3r-qYmOQrSJMxeRorPDY2KFIkQG6CsA9zDaxQWtaFziBNQEjM149ZavNR9IJZV0grgHh078tmhZWDMKqfhWh9ZvvPTP7aVCFzvJ25AWZfL8t-IdZWLKbZLUy/s400/Sunshine+Cleaning.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325470492004535250" /></a><br />Two daughters lose their mother early, leaving them with a gruff, kindly, but ineffectual father. Neither is able to come to grips with her life. But they keep trying. They get lucky, and unlucky. Life is complicated.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Sunshine Cleaning</span>, from some of the same people responsible for <span style="font-style:italic;">Little Miss Sunshine</span> (do all their movies need the word "sunshine" in the title?) is a sad, interesting movie about people who are getting by, but whose emotional lives are a wreck. It's a story about how they try come to terms with their emotional loss, many years later. There are many strong, honest moments in this film. I recommend it.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-56012475450000168012009-04-16T18:39:00.005-04:002009-04-16T18:46:28.623-04:00The choking gameIt's a new one on me--the choking game, or the fainting game. I came across a <a href="http://www.nwcn.com/sharedcontent/northwest/specialreport/stories/NW_041409WAB-fathers-letter-choking-game-SW.d5d0aa13.html">blog post by a distraught father</a> whose son died this way. The post didn't explain the choking game very well, but I found an interesting <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choking_game">entry on Wikipedia.</a><br /><br />Wikipedia references a study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that found that 82 children 6-19 years old died while playing this game between 1995 and 2007.<br /><br />Those numbers are far too small to show up on any broad assessment of health risks to teens.<br /><br />But each one of those deaths represents a devastated family, with parents and sibilings who might never entirely recover.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-37739953050713005682009-03-20T12:18:00.003-04:002009-03-20T12:33:27.211-04:00Where are the fathers?Time and again, I've noted studies and situations in which I was surprised to find little or no discussion of fathers. But I'm still surprised and, shocked, I guess, when I see new examples of it. <br /><br />The American Bar Association, according to the University of Houston's <a href="http://www.childrenandthelawblog.com/2009/03/19/aba-children-and-the-law-conferences-may-13th-through-16th/">Children and the Law blog</a>, is holding two meetings in Washington in May: The First National Parents' Attorneys Conference, and The 2009 National Conference on Children and the Law. <br /><br />I did not do a sophisticated study of the programs; I merely searched the titles and abstracts for the word "father." I found only one instance, on a long, long web page. It was in a session about getting fathers more involved in welfare cases. In other words, the only mention of fathers was in a situation where fathers are delinquent. <br /><br />I must add a very important caveat; the word "mother" does not appear at all in the document, which talks mostly about parents. So this isn't the clean example I'd like it to be. Still, I worry. Is the ABA, in its deliberations and discussions about children and the law, including fathers as a resource?Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-84523966117244543262009-03-18T14:40:00.003-04:002009-03-18T14:44:46.035-04:00President Obama's family agendaOf interest to fathers, from the president's family agenda:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"...Strengthen Fatherhood and Families: Barack Obama has re-introduced the Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act to remove some of the government penalties on married families, crack down on men avoiding child support payments, ensure that support payments go to families instead of state bureaucracies, fund support services for fathers and their families, and support domestic violence prevention efforts. President Obama will sign this bill into law and continue to implement innovative measures to strengthen families..."<br /></span><br />Read the entire Obama family agenda <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/agenda/family/">here</a>.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-12029470319410671852009-03-16T16:43:00.007-04:002009-03-20T12:34:22.212-04:00Baby Bear, Baby Bear--Where's Daddy?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPLwTkWPGzIntRrQVx9cbd_b6jX4yqTtmSrxm6F5zxA-qaZbbopkjOpZZna_BoPNHcUw6U5uNXTVhfES7c0PUirZZBkz3KIxmlcwOCyH8FTULYwgidllx6ht8SdI5R-Ac7ntgFms3eFpEn/s1600-h/Baby+Bear--Eric+Carle.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 128px; height: 160px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPLwTkWPGzIntRrQVx9cbd_b6jX4yqTtmSrxm6F5zxA-qaZbbopkjOpZZna_BoPNHcUw6U5uNXTVhfES7c0PUirZZBkz3KIxmlcwOCyH8FTULYwgidllx6ht8SdI5R-Ac7ntgFms3eFpEn/s400/Baby+Bear--Eric+Carle.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314595138098119314" /></a><br />A few days ago, Henry and I were grabbing a few of his books to take along on a trip. One of them was <span style="font-style:italic;">Baby Bear, Baby Bear, What Do You See?</span>, by the long-time children's book author Eric Carle. <br /><br />The cover shows a nurturing mother and child. When Henry (age: 2-1/2) caught sight of it, he pointed to the big bear and said, "There's mommy." He looked at the smaller bear and said, "There's baby."<br /><br />Then he looked at me and said: "Where's Daddy?"Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-64202503084397923842009-03-13T23:22:00.002-04:002009-03-13T23:28:13.313-04:00What Do Fathers Want?OK, this is a little bit circular, because Cathy Arnst's <a href="http://www.businessweek.com/careers/workingparents/blog/archives/2009/03/what_do_fathers.html">post</a> with that title, on her Business Week blog <a href="http://www.businessweek.com/careers/workingparents/blog/">Working Parents</a>, mentions my Psychology Today blog, <a href="http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/about-fathers">About Fathers</a>.<br /><br />Even so, you should check out Cathy's post, in which she wonders why fathers choose to participate in some of the kids' school activities, but not others.<br /><br />And thanks, Cathy, for the mention.Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2676903776300189961.post-38390782763139991882009-03-13T23:07:00.003-04:002009-03-13T23:12:17.948-04:00When journalists don't ask the tough questions, somebody else willAnd now for a brief digression: The concluding minutes of the best financial news interview of the year, and last year, too. <br /><br /><br /><style type='text/css'>.cc_box a:hover .cc_home{background:url('http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-over.png') !important;}.cc_links a{color:#b9b9b9;text-decoration:none;}.cc_show a{color:#707070;text-decoration:none;}.cc_title a{color:#868686;text-decoration:none;}.cc_links a:hover{color:#67bee2;text-decoration:underline;}</style><div class='cc_box' style='position:relative'><a href='http://www.comedycentral.com' target='_blank' style='display:inline; float:left; width:60px; height:31px;'><div class='cc_home' style='float:left; border:solid 1px #cfcfcf; border-width:1px 0px 0px 1px; width:60px; height:31px; background:url("http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-out.png");'></div></a><div style='font:bold 10px Arial,Helvetica,Verdana,sans-serif; float:left; width:299px; height:31px; border:solid 1px #cfcfcf; border-width:1px 1px 0px 0px; overflow:hidden; color:#707070; position:relative;'><div class='cc_show' style='position:relative; background-color:#e5e5e5;padding-left:3px; height:14px; padding-top:2px; overflow:hidden;'><a href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/' target='_blank'>The Daily Show With Jon Stewart</a><span style='position:absolute; top:2px; right:3px;'>M - Th 11p / 10c</span></div><div class='cc_title' style='font-size:11px; color:#868686; background-color:#f5f5f5; padding:3px; padding-top:1px; line-height:14px; height:21px; overflow:hidden;'><a href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=221518&title=jim-cramer-unedited-interview' target='_blank'>Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 3</a></div></div><embed style='float:left; clear:left;' src='http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:221518' width='360' height='301' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='window' allowFullscreen='true' flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'></embed><div class='cc_links' style='float:left; clear:left; width:358px; border:solid 1px #cfcfcf; border-top:0px; font:10px Arial,Helvetica,Verdana,sans-serif; color:#b9b9b9; background-color:#f5f5f5;'><div style='width:177px; float:left; padding-left:3px;'><a target='_blank' href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/index.jhtml'>Daily Show Full Episodes</a><br /><a target='_blank' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/important_things/index.jhtml'>Important Things w/ Demetri Martin</a></div><div style='width:177px; float:left;'><a target='_blank' href='http://www.indecisionforever.com'>Political Humor</a><br /><a target='_blank' href='http://blog.indecisionforever.com/2009/03/13/jon-stewart-and-jim-cramer-the-extended-daily-show-interview/'>Jim Cramer</a></div><div style='clear:both'></div></div><div style='clear:both'></div></div>Paul Raeburnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06850931965720154814noreply@blogger.com1